Find your healing space. Create your haven. When organizing a home for clients, where there was hoarding or just messy chaos, I would first carve out a place for the client. To be a refuge from their inner trauma or their addiction to hoarding. Maybe they needed a place to escape the chaos from a partner or child that was troubled with alcoholism, codependency, or other unhealthy tendencies.
I understood the importance of such a space. I too had lived through trauma and unclear boundaries and chaos and had made decisions to change. I came to the point of surrender, (many times as I developed!) deciding that a part of my life was not satisfying or wholesome. I came to believe that new insights could help steer me to change my direction. After making such decisions, I came home to things unchanged. Things still needed to be cleared away, relationships would have to change or end. Chaos was still present, I had not changed, I had only made a decision. Others’ habits were the same, possessions that may not fit into my new life were still there. It would take me time, energy, and rest to make lasting changes. I would begin by making myself a study corner.
Perhaps you have begun counseling, a recovery program, or a facebook support group. Or you have begun turning in the direction of your Creator to guide you into a new life. Whatever that may be and whatever that looks like to you, a new life awaits!.
Since none of this is instantaneous, I have found it helpful to create a small haven. A space chosen by you and for you, to rest, gather your thoughts, reinforce a new way of thinking, or simply unwind from the chaos. When change begins our minds need more time to process as new habits are tiring at the onset. At this point of awareness, things that were once tolerable become louder, more distracting, and objectionable. This will not be forever, but the distractions have the power to toss us out of the box. Convincing us that lasting change is not possible. Enticing us to give up.
Well instead of giving up, create a haven and retreat to it, as often as needed. First, choose a spot. Remove all clothing and clutter. Then protect this space! Do not allow paperwork, bills, homework, clothing, or dirty dishes to intrude. This should not be a space where unhealthy snacking is taking place. So, no chips!
Some havens are created in a corner of a bedroom. Place a chair, perhaps a small table and lamp. If you have a favorite throw blanket let it live here from now on. Don’t have one yet? How about an oversized sweater that is cozy and comforting? A bible or meditation book is ideal, or the book that is helping you think of new possibilities. Maybe a sketch pad, but only if you are truly going to use it.
Sometimes a corner in a family room or formal living room will do just fine. Or an enclosed porch. A place no one else likes to hang out in. Have an interesting attic that has a nice window with a view? Drag a comfy chair up there, or maybe an old Victorian lamp. Adding a curtain, bookcase, or a mirror could create a feeling of a small study. That may be the spot!
