Research shows that the average person has 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts in a day. Out of 60,000 thoughts, 90% are repetitive. A third finding is that 47% of the time, our minds wander and typically is led to negative, ruminating thoughts.
Why is this information so vital to survivors?
It makes a huge difference in the lives of those who have been abused or neglected. While in counseling or a recovery program, we retell the troubling occurrences. The goal is to gain insight and find a resolution. We bring these dirty secrets out in the open, giving us a voice and validation, perhaps for the first time. This telling takes some of the power out of the trauma, making it more manageable. We, hopefully, come to realize we could not have prevented the abuse. Another goal is to realize that although we are symptomatic, it is no longer happening.
Pause Listen Capture
Even as you read my words, your inner voice is carrying on a dialogue of which you may not be aware. You have been physically rescued, left an abusive home, or have gone into a recovery program; however, that just changes our physical location. The real work to find freedom from anger, fear, resentment, and self-loathing is accomplished by challenging your thoughts.
These locked-in thoughts and emotions culminate in PTSD. Whether you have the diagnosis or not, we know all too well that a word, smell, or touch can take us right back to the moment of abuse, taking us out of the present moment, our present reality.
Get to know your inner thoughts
Looking over past journals, I found I relived past events. Trauma still had power and could get my mind to wander. I found it necessary to capture these circling thoughts and examine them. Are they useful? If not, could I replace them with new memories and new beliefs? Yes! This is where faith in God helped me. No longer did I have to listen to the threatening lies. I could love and forgive myself because my Creator says I am lovable, worthy of love and respect. My Creator intends for our lives to be content and to live with purpose, free from harsh judgment.
Then what? Will life be worth living? Yes, it can be. Learning how the brain, body memories and nervous system work, we can now train ourselves to catch the harmful and obsessive whirling thoughts.
*Begin to catch your whirling subconscious thoughts. Jot down in a journal.
*Examine the thoughts, truth or lie, keep or discard.
*Did a physical action, smell, or sensation trigger the whirlwind of emotion and thoughts?
* Find a healthier, more useful way of thinking.
We may, over time, be able to reach a point of forgiveness for the abuser, but more importantly, we should seek to forgive ourselves. Knowing that we hold little or no responsibility for the abuse that occurred.
What happened to us does not define who we are; who God created us to be.
Create in us a clean spirit, excerpt from Psalm 51:10
Let us seek contented lives, finding joy and peaceful sleep.
Lady Jayne's Reckonings 