Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Inner Child, Thoughtful Living

Is my Inner Voice leading me to Spiritual Freedom?

Spiritual freedom does not happen by accident. It comes from following the spiritual voice found inside. However this is no easy task for those born into evil or thrust into abuse. We hear a combination of our own condemning inner voice and the abusers threats. Upon spiritual examination we find the shadow of death in the mix. The clamoring voice that actively manipulates our inner messages.

Attempting to break free is trial and error. Prayer is used more as a test rather than true conviction, in the beginning. Pray, wait, ask for guidance and protection and then repeat. Through this, prayer by prayer, practice we learn to separate harmful critical thoughts and exaggerated emotions from God led inspiration and guidance.

” the spiritual voice inside us (that leads to freedom and life) speaks of care and love. It will never tell us to hurt others or ourselves. It is our Higher Power’s voice. It’s what Step Eleven (Big Book) calls “conscious contact.”

Sometimes the voice tells us to do things we’re afraid of. For example, if we’re lonely and the voice tells us to call someone on our phone list, we may make excuses to not do it. Again, the voice may say, “Just make the call, It will be okay.” of we follow this guiding voice we’ll find happiness.” (and Spiritual Freedom!)

excerpt from “Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal (Hazelden Meditations) Paperback – October 1, 1989

Posted in Return to your true created essence, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Finding the Magic Key of Recovery

Step out of your circumstances for a while. Observe others who seem to know how to live. Perhaps observe people who are not living in anger or endless drama. There are people around us in recovery that have unlocked the door and found a way out.

People watching can be a beginning, but they can not be of much assistance to a struggling soul until a process of surrender occurs within.  The AA principles, for example, lay out perfectly the process from self-reliance and unmanageability to surrender and freedom. 

Swirling obsessive thoughts and knee jerk reactions may not have been of own making, but rather modeled to us by caretakers, parents, or an abuser. Although they have proven time and time again to be harmful and faulty, as long as we believe they are valid and appropriate we will stubbornly stay unchanged.

If stepping out of victimization or personal addictive behaviors a lack of faith and trust is our dilemma. We could not trust the abuser or while in active addiction could not trust ourselves or our behaviors. But we have a Creator who is continually trying to reach us and is able to change our thinking and behaviors. There is restoring power beyond our imagining. A new outlook awaits.

The key to this door, that opens to a path into the beautiful new unknown, is surrender. That key is found when we can sit quietly and dare to think outside of what we believe is our reality. The key begins to turn. There may be clutter in front of the door, or the door may slam shut again and again. Then one day it stays open. We awake to new information, new possibilities. Needed resources and strength present themselves.

 

Posted in Thoughtful Living

The Fisher King

story adapted from Richard Rohr, Quest for the Grail (New York: Crossroad Publishing, 1994), 57, 19–20.

The most common version of the Grail myth takes place in a medieval kingdom. The King is tragically wounded, and the kingdom is in disrepair. Father Richard describes the situation:

Most versions of the Grail legend begin with a wasteland kingdom, ruled over by one called the Fisher King. Crops are dying, monasteries are empty, and the people have no hope. All the king can do, because his wound refuses to heal, is fish all day—that is why he is called the Fisher King. This name has Christ connotations, since Jesus too was the “fisher of people.”

Fishing is the appropriate symbol of dipping down into one’s own unconscious. The sea is the natural image of the vast unconscious. I think this is the reason we can sit by the ocean for hours and watch it with fascination—waiting for the gift from the sea, waiting for something to show itself.

For author and depth psychologist Carol Pearson, the Fisher King is an archetype connected to inner places of suffering and longing:

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Posted in Inner Child, Return to your true created essence, Thoughtful Living

Be an Egg Breaker

When I became aware that there was a hold on my thinking, I was given the freedom to change. Without awareness, I was lost in an endless cycle of disillusionment, hurt, and discouragement. Awareness brings clarity and our natural desire to better ourselves.
Be a chick and break out of your shell, knowing that with hatching there is a struggle. Whether an egg, a flower, butterfly, or newborn, all struggle. Without the struggle, they cannot be born, survive, or seek their full potential.
Even after birth, there is a need to stretch and grow built into all living things. Whether it is physical strengthening, mental cleansing, learning something new, or spiritual freedom and growth. Applying knowledge, based on a new truth or a behavioral change, brings it a struggle.
Counter to this, when lost, we feel the struggle and brace ourselves, attempting to block out the fearful unknown and resist discomfort. By accepting that there will be a struggle and it is in the natural course of life, the struggle then becomes tolerable.
When we accept the struggle, change unfolds in us and through us.

Posted in Blissful Blogs, Return to your true created essence, Thoughtful Living

Moments of Weariness in our Journey

I am weary. I have been writing and revising my manuscript for four years now. In writing a memoir, there is the apparent need to go back through the trauma experienced. I have found continued healing while going through this process of writing. The positives are that this going back also reinforces the lessons, techniques and prayer practices that have brought me out of darkness into a world of recovery and true freedom.

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Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Bite Size Bible Truth, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Who put the road block in place?

For survivors of trauma and addiction, roadblocks were put in place before we realized it. We remain unaware that a roadblock exists, believing we are just like everyone else, until we try to expand ourselves into an adult individual. If we have successes great! But such is life, and there are challenges all along our way. There is illness, loss, death, lost jobs, financial uncertainties, or isolation from families.

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Posted in Bite Size Bible Truth, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

FLOWERS IN THE SIDEWALK

No greater hope!

In the city, we are often removed from the inherent beauty of creation. Looking down so as not to trip on uneven sidewalks can only provide a downcast focus of cigarette butts, weeds, dirt, spit, discarded food and wrappers, and flies. Yet our Creator calls us to look up-to look around -to seek His kingdom on earth. Where is this kingdom?

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Posted in Others' Views, Return to your true created essence, Thoughtful Living

VICTIM

Victim. We should only be allowed to use this word to describe a moment in time where something was done to us that was out of our control. It should be an adjective to describe our experience in a tragedy, not to define our character. That moment does not define us. It can mold us, but we have the choice to allow it to continue to victimize us and be subjected to the powerlessness of that situation or we have the ability to become a warrior.

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Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Bite Size Bible Truth, Return to your true created essence, Thoughtful Living

EXPOSED TO LIGHT

After what we have experienced in secret the idea of being exposed is quite painful. Had we not already had our bodies exposed to lustful eyes and hands? Yes! However the illumination I speak of has an opposite and profound effect on returning to our pre-abuse identity. Leading us out of a fear filled lonely place to a place of joy filled resilience and healing.

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