I can see the beauty of being a rock in God’s creation. Not a sedentary rock, for when unearthed, I would be moved from place to place. At times, hidden and forgotten. Then a twist of fate would unearth me again. For a time, placed as the centerpiece in a garden. Jagged, rough edges in the beginning, but the friction of life and torrent rains refined and polished me. Now my destination is assured as I have become a paperweight sitting prominently on God’s desk. My polished shine radiates with reflective light attracting others to be soothed by my cool smoothness. This smoothness with signs of wear offers many opportunities, sometimes to bring others beauty, sometimes to help others offering foundational support, and at all times, to be still and take in the beauty that surrounds me in His garden.
Victim. We should only be allowed to use this word to describe a moment in time where something was done to us that was out of our control. It should be an adjective to describe our experience in a tragedy, not to define our character. That moment does not define us. It can mold us, but we have the choice to allow it to continue to victimize us and be subjected to the powerlessness of that situation or we have the ability to become a warrior.Continue reading “VICTIM”
After what we have experienced in secret the idea of being exposed is quite painful. Had we not already had our bodies exposed to lustful eyes and hands? Yes! However the illumination I speak of has an opposite and profound effect on returning to our pre-abuse identity. Leading us out of a fear filled lonely place to a place of joy filled resilience and healing.Continue reading “EXPOSED TO LIGHT”
Find your healing space. Create your haven. When organizing a home for clients, where there was hoarding or just messy chaos, I would first carve out a place for the client. To be a refuge from their inner trauma or their addiction to hoarding. Maybe they needed a place to escape the chaos from a partner or child that was troubled with alcoholism, codependency, or other unhealthy tendencies.Continue reading “A HAVEN FOR HEALING”
Father Richard Shares……Today I share a contemplative poem from CAC friend and writer Felicia Murrell. Felicia’s words combine a deep awareness of God’s presence while clearly naming the collective trauma of police brutality and lynchings. It is worth remembering, as Black liberation theologian James Cone (1938–2018) points out, that the lynchings of African Americans and the crucifixion of Jesus share much in common: “Both the cross and the lynching tree were symbols of terror, instruments of torture and execution, reserved primarily for slaves, criminals, and insurrectionists—the lowest of the low in society.”  There is something about poetry that gives us permission to sit with the paradoxes of our pain, perhaps especially when addressing traumatic suffering. I invite you to read Felicia’s challenging words slowly, allowing your heart to break open to God’s love amidst the suffering of the world.Continue reading “Trauma and Silence”
Untangling the cords of anger that ran through my days, a bulging red knot was revealed.
Tugging harder, looking for the free end that would release me, the knot became inflamed with purple hues.Continue reading “Anger in Radiant Spectrum”
An account in Exodus finds Moses’ people grumbling at their accommodations in the wilderness. They are in the wilderness due to rebellion and yet Moses cries out to God, asking to supply them with food and water. He is instructed by God to strike his staff on the rock and water would flow. Did they need another intervention, another miracle? Well, the folks who drank from this streaming rock had already been rescued from slavery, through a parted sea! They continued to worship other gods-idols, and so remained dissatisfied, demanding, and disloyal to the Creator of all. Boy-oh-boy, if we saw such a miracle would we not believe in that God?
Spiritual Bondage and dissatisfaction go hand in hand. The shadow of death entices us to desire things that will lead us to dissatisfaction and death. The very things we desire; turn against us if not from God. Allow me to take you back to when I was wandering in the wilderness.Continue reading “WATER FROM A ROCK”
As if a Jack-in-a-Box opened its lid, the fragments of a young girl’s life were now being exposed refusing to stay dormant and silent. Therapists far and wide have seen enough to identify the Lady Jayne, part of me as the “Child Within”. A young girl, so damaged she had forgotten to grow up was trying to be heard. When I started the AA program and was offered literature from a friend on the subject, I must admit I foo-fooed the idea. Child within? Nonsense! Well before you foo-foo it, allow Lady Jayne to tell her tale.Continue reading “LADY JAYNE, “READY OR NOT HERE I COME””
Today I want to share the ups and downs of progress. I am grateful and know fully that I am spiritually, mentally and physically healthier than any other time in my life. I feel God’s leading and yet I still have anxiety, perhaps a scar that stretches with each new challenge. I acknowledge the feeling, being tolerant of it, instead of stuffing it. I feel it, then I get on with my plans for the day. The anxiety can join me or not. Sometimes it tires itself out and leaves.
Greetings! I am writing a book (daunting) and starting to reach out with this web site and blogs. New to all of this! My site pages may not be in the correct order, however, I am ready to chat through blogging write back wheneverver you like!
I APPRECIATE YOU HELPING TO SPREAD MY READABILITY- MY BOOK SHOULD REACH MANY WE DO NOT KNOW!!
Enduring abuse since infancy I was tormented with nightmares and symptomatic PTSD. However further insight exposed spiritual bondage that attached to my soul before I was aware, with the ability to influence my thoughts and behaviors. A spiritual malady went undetected for years and had not been addressed in my program of recovery and not understood in my church. When father died memories surfaced. Counseling; led me to think it was dealt with. However, when mother died strange things began to happen in my home, to me and my family. So blatant were the attacks I no longer had the luxury to stay in denial, under the label of dysfunction. The battle between good and evil is real.
Coming out on the other side, I am living fully and contentedly with gratitude for God’s care and protection. To honor the little girl that I blamed for so long and her brothers; Lady Jayne will now tell her story. While she speaks I will prepare the manuscript for publishing. So far I am thinking of the titles: The Fearless Reckoning of Lady Jayne or The Reckoning of Lady Jayne. Like these? I welcome input! My best to all who visit, Thank you!