Part of our psyche – stores impressions. holds our true identity, can heal, can be healthy
Redemption is sought after by many, but most would not recognize it if it looked us in the face. We can agree that the desire to be restored or saved comes after a significant loss; something was taken, lost or had enslaved us. But where can we satisfy this desire?
Continue reading “Redemption: Restoring back to the Original”
Spiritual freedom does not happen by accident. It comes from following the spiritual voice found inside. However this is no easy task for those born into evil or thrust into abuse. We hear a combination of our own condemning inner voice and the abusers threats. Upon spiritual examination we find the shadow of death in the mix. The clamoring voice that actively manipulates our inner messages.
Attempting to break free is trial and error. Prayer is used more as a test rather than true conviction, in the beginning. Pray, wait, ask for guidance and protection and then repeat. Through this, prayer by prayer, practice we learn to separate harmful critical thoughts and exaggerated emotions from God led inspiration and guidance.
” the spiritual voice inside us (that leads to freedom and life) speaks of care and love. It will never tell us to hurt others or ourselves. It is our Higher Power’s voice. It’s what Step Eleven (Big Book) calls “conscious contact.”
Sometimes the voice tells us to do things we’re afraid of. For example, if we’re lonely and the voice tells us to call someone on our phone list, we may make excuses to not do it. Again, the voice may say, “Just make the call, It will be okay.” of we follow this guiding voice we’ll find happiness.” (and Spiritual Freedom!)
excerpt from “Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal (Hazelden Meditations) Paperback – October 1, 1989
When I became aware that there was a hold on my thinking, I was given the freedom to change. Without awareness, I was lost in an endless cycle of disillusionment, hurt, and discouragement. Awareness brought clarity and my innate desire to do better.
I decided that like a chick I would break out of my shell and accepted there would be a a struggle. Whether a human, a chick, a flower, or a butterfly all struggle. Without the struggle, there would be no birth, survival or motivation to seek their full potential.
There is a need to stretch and grow, built into all living things. Whether it is physical strengthening, mental cleansing, learning something new, or achieving spiritual freedom and growth. Applying knowledge, based on a new truth or a behavioral change, brings it’s own struggle.
Counter to this, when lost in apathy, we feel the tug and brace ourselves, attempting to block out the fearful unknown and resist discomfort. By accepting that there will be a struggle in the natural course of life, the effort then becomes tolerable.
When we accept the struggle, change unfolds in us and through us.
Co-dependency: excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner or family member, one or both have unreasonable control over the other.
Read more: CHANGING ONESELF WHILE CO-DEPENDENTThere is no autonomy or self-governing; control is exerted over the other’s movements, money, sexual activity, or friends; through emotional, psychological manipulation, or physical abuse. Adult children of alcoholics easily fall into the same patterns as their parents: picking a partner or raising their children, in the same manner, they were, remaining trapped in the cycle.
Life itself will offer moments of clarity. A crossroad, a breaking point, or outside intervention. A realization that something could be different. That one may enter a recovery program, peer support at a church, or counseling center. To break free and recover, emotional detachment is vital, while new information is taken in. There is always an emotional separation from the other co-dependant, if there is physical or psychological abuse a physical separation is needed until both can seek help. These are forms of detachment. Detachment simply allows space to breath, rest, and reevaluate. For most it is frightening and progress may be delayed out of a fear that something is being lost.
A year later, while in a counseling session, attempting once again to make sense of my predicament, I become terrified and disoriented. Directly in my line of vision, a form like a hologram appeared leaving no room for my present life to penetrate. I began seeing the atrocities done to my mother and my brothers. The smell of orange blossoms, bacon, country gravy and biscuits, the moist smell of dew in the mountain air filled my senses. Mashed potatoes mingled with blood on old graying wall paper came into view. I heard my own fear in its’ deafening silence as brown trousers came towards me. Physically, I was left feeling moist, cold and exposed; breathless with unbelievable pain in my throat and shoulders.
Continue reading “Excerpt: Fearless Reckonings of Lady Jayne”Are you doubtful that true inner peace can be found?
Abuse, incest, neglect, trafficking, rape all invades us. Our minds are flooded with fear, terror, isolation, pain, and threats of death. But more than this! We ingest messages that no one cares, no one can be trusted, God has let us down. Perhaps you believe you are ugly, useless, unteachable, destined for poverty, disgrace and loneliness because you are of no value or unlovable. Our very soul, our very essence hides or feels as if it has been ripped loose from us.
STOP HERE! All LIES!
Continue reading “Seeking Inner Peace”Every Great Story begins on a Story Board-Discover Yours **in appreciation to Ty Gibson, Author/Presenter
Enduring abuse since infancy I was tormented with nightmares and symptomatic PTSD. However further insight exposed spiritual bondage that attached to my soul before I was aware, with the ability to influence my thoughts and behaviors. A spiritual malady went undetected for years and had not been addressed in my program of recovery and not understood in my church. When father died memories surfaced. Counseling; led me to think it was dealt with. However, when mother died strange things began to happen in my home, to me and my family. So blatant were the attacks I no longer had the luxury to stay in denial, under the label of dysfunction. The battle between good and evil is real.
Coming out on the other side, I am living fully and contentedly with gratitude for God’s care and protection. To honor the little girl that I blamed for so long and her brothers; Lady Jayne will now tell her story. While she speaks I will prepare the manuscript for publishing. So far I am thinking of the titles: The Fearless Reckoning of Lady Jayne or The Reckoning of Lady Jayne. Like these? I welcome input! My best to all who visit, Thank you!