When organizing homes where clients are hoarding or have messy chaos due to indecision, I first carve out a place for the client, that will serve as their haven, or a refuge from their inner trauma, or away from viewing the consequences of hoarding.
They might need a place to escape the chaos from a partner or child who is troubled with alcoholism, codependency, or other unhealthy tendencies.
I understood the importance of such a space. I too, have lived through trauma, unclear boundaries, and chaos. I never felt safe or relaxed. Many times, in my recovery from counseling or life changes, I reached a point of brokenness and surrender. I was able to decide that a certain part of my life was not satisfying or wholesome. I believed the new insight would steer me to change my direction.
After making such decisions, chaos was still present. I had not changed, I had only made a decision. I would come home to things unchanged. I would move some possessions around, only to make a bigger mess. Things still needed to be cleared away. Or a relationship needed to adapt to the new me or end. Perhaps they were harmful, not growing, or do not desire positive change. I found that I held on to possessions out of fear, but they no longer fit in my life. They also had the power to weigh me down psychologically.
*IT TAKES TIME, ENERGY, AND REST TO MAKE LASTING CHANGES*
*Choose a spot.* Remove all clothing and clutter. Find a comphy chair, table and a lamp. This area can be used to think things out, meditate, journal or make future plans. If you like candles, music or art work, add it now or a bit later, when you discover what you truly like!
*Protect and maintain this space.* Refuse to allow paperwork, bills, homework, clothing, or dirty dishes to intrude. This should not be a space where unhealthy snacking is taking place. So, no chips!
Perhaps you have begun counseling, a recovery program, or a Facebook support group. Or you have begun turning in the direction of your Creator, allowing it to guide you in this new way of being. Whatever that looks like, remember a new life awaits!
*Since no growth or renewal comes in an instant, it is important to create your haven. A space chosen by you, for you to rest, gather your thoughts, reinforce a new way of thinking, or simply remove yourself from the chaos. When change begins, our minds need more time to rest and process, as new habits are tiring at the onset. In this process of heightened awareness, things once tolerable, become louder, more distracting, or objectionable.
*This will not be forever!* However, distractions have the power knock us off our priorities because we had to put others first while being a abused. Do not give, Do not believe the lies or manipulation. Do not be enticed to give up!.
Lady Jayne and I know the value of self-care and a safe haven. Let us know your progress or questions
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