You have been doing quite a bit of inner exploration then fatigue set in. Did you do something nice for yourself or have you been binge watching TV or over working? No matter, it is time to go deeper and broader.
On a shelf in a room down the hall is a book that has not been used in a while. Inside is the story of you. The first few chapters are stories of sadness, fear, and uncertainty. Then the chapter that expressed the anger and rage at all that happened with no one to protect you.
Remember writing the third chapter? I do! We saw that life would carry on with or without us so never give up. I encouraged you to look at this next year or two as an open slate. To keep your eyes open for things that have beauty. Not the frivolous beauty found in makeup, clothes, or cars, but the sunrise, which is bountiful and available to all, trees and flowers, a lake or stream, or the smiling face of a baby. To see beauty, you practiced staying alert and present in these moments. This is where you thought of what you wanted to do as a child when you grew up. This is when you discovered the powerful effect of breathing.
Now is the time to begin a new chapter. Find a spot that can be your safe haven; small or large is not important. What is important is the space can welcome in the spirit of your higher power, which has always been present and alongside you, but now you are aware and welcome it. Put on comfy clothes, grab your favorite blanket, a mug of coffee or tea, and a box of tissues.
Begin to be bold and courageously dare to dream of a reality that you can create from this moment on. A reality that would not be defined by the past or others’ views. What would you need to create this? Are you finding that some people in your life are negative or create drama that is distracting to your progress? Is there a support group, church group or classes at a school or library that can help you discover new ways of thinking? You will be writing down these ideas. Sometimes it will take your breath away.
These moments of daring to dream and create can bring on physical and emotional reactions; rapid heartbeat, light headedness, tingling in the body, nausea, and a feeling of mental overload. Although it can feel uncomfortable, or frightening, don’t stop. This is the free fall of trust and growth. Think of it more as a ride on a roller coaster or falling back into a pool.