Abuse, incest, neglect, trafficking, rape contaminate our mind with LIES
Most who have been abused at home or trafficked attempt to find a savior at school or on the streets. The new relationship holds the illusion of safety, belonging, and being understood. Usually we are not aware that the new relationship serves as a bandage over strong emotions of loneliness and low self-worth. The new relationship is a distraction from ourselves, aids in blocking out reality and hinders further healing.
Continue reading “What’s the Attraction?”
Usually appearing in my last dream before waking. These dreams used to be filled with overwhelming emotion, fear and the torturous influence of the shadow. So much so that I could not process the actual memory, only cope with the symptoms. A fight or flight PTSD response.
Since my recovery programs, counseling, and journey within with my God, resulting in spiritual freedom, these dreams are gentler. Still conveying a similiar message but now something more bite sized, less traumatic. I can look at, give to my God, my loving Creator and then set aside. Allowing my day to open up to joy and anticipation.
Continue reading “Ending Entrapment”
When organizing homes where clients are hoarding or have messy chaos due to indecision, I first carve out a place for the client, that will serve as their haven, or a refuge from their inner trauma, or away from viewing the consequences of hoarding.
They might need a place to escape the chaos from a partner or child who is troubled with alcoholism, codependency, or other unhealthy tendencies.
Continue reading “A HAVEN FOR HEALING”
As survivors there is the task of rejoining the fragments of our psyche, healing our nervous system and emotions. The difficulty lies in our inability to trust our thinking, trusting God, and trusting those who are sincerely trying to help.
Continue reading “Let the Journey to Spiritual Freedom Begin”
We do not like to retreat. If we are pushed, we push back. If we hit a wall, we bang our head for a while thinking that our stubbornness and unwillingness to retreat will remove the obstacle and open the desired door.
Continue reading “Stop Resisting Turn toward Possibilities “
Abused or neglected in our developmental years leaves us confused. Our God given compass does not function appropriately. We are loyal to the abuser and mistrust others that may come into our lives to show us a better way. We may believe everyone lives as we have and that this is as good as it gets. Curiosity for freedom does not exist or is held within. Sometimes we know something is wrong but believe we deserve the way we have been treated because we are somehow defective.
Continue reading “Lost but now I can be found”
Redemption is sought by many, but most of us would not recognize it if it looked us in the face. We can agree that there is a desire to be restored or saved after a significant loss; something was taken or had enslaved us. But where can we satisfy this desire?
Continue reading “Redemption: Restoring back to the Original”
Spiritual freedom does not happen by accident. It comes from following the spiritual voice found inside. However, this is no easy task for those born into evil or thrust into abuse. We hear a combination of our own condemning inner voice and the abuser’s threats. Upon spiritual examination we find the shadow of death in the mix. The clamoring voice that actively manipulates our inner messages.
Attempting to break free is trial and error. Prayer is used more as a test rather than true conviction, in the beginning. Pray, wait, ask for guidance and protection and then repeat. Through this, prayer by prayer, practice we learn to separate harmful critical thoughts and exaggerated emotions from God led inspiration and guidance.
” The spiritual voice inside us (that leads to freedom and life) speaks of care and love. It will never tell us to hurt others or ourselves. It is our Higher Power’s voice. It’s what Step Eleven (Big Book) calls “conscious contact.”
Sometimes the voice tells us to do things we’re afraid of. For example, if we’re lonely and the voice tells us to call someone on our phone list, we may make excuses to not do it. Again, the voice may say, “Just make the call, it will be okay.” if we follow this guiding voice, we’ll find happiness.” and Spiritual Freedom!
excerpt from “Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal (Hazelden Meditations) Paperback – October 1, 1989
Lady Jayne's Reckonings 