Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Inner Child, Return to your true created essence, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Stop Resisting; Turn toward Possibilities 

We do not like to retreat. If we are pushed, we push back. If we hit a wall, we bang our head for a while thinking that our stubbornness and unwillingness to retreat will remove the obstacle and open the desired door.

As with many things in life, things are not always as they seem. When we feel trapped, what seems like asserting ourselves can actually be detrimental to our growth, contentment, and well-being. This push is to avoid being taken advantage of or looking weak.

Reversing these harmful responses and actions is not easy. But may I suggest as a new practice; to begin removing yourself from the harmful situation. Stop arguing with unreasonable people. Stop placing yourself in situations where you know you are not respected.

Other times, stressors keep our focus and the what ifs are the number one offender. What if I fail? What if he leaves me? What if I am not loved and end up alone? What if I don’t have enough money? Perhaps try to write down your what ifs of the day. Then, make a decision to lay these scary thoughts aside. Just for the day. Knowing that what ifs happen in the future if they happen at all.

In today you have another chance at life and emotional freedom. Changing your focus is a powerful tool that allows you to stay present in this day. The repeated practice of this opens to new insights, hope, and possibilities.

Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Return to your true created essence, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Lost but now I can be found

Abused or neglected in our developmental years leaves us confused. Our God given compass does not function appropriately. We are loyal to the abuser and mistrust others that may come into our lives to show us a better way. We may believe everyone lives as we have and that this is as good as it gets. Curiosity for freedom does not exist or is held within. Sometimes we know something is wrong but believe we deserve the way we have been treated because we are somehow defective.

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Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Bite Size Bible Truth, Inner Child, Return to your true created essence, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Redemption: Restoring back to the Original

Redemption is sought by many, but most of us would not recognize it if it looked us in the face. We can agree that there is a desire to be restored or saved after a significant loss; something was taken or had enslaved us. But where can we satisfy this desire?

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Posted in Return to your true created essence, Thoughtful Living

Is God Aware of our Struggles?

Coming into belief we bring with us bitterness, disappointment, and disillusionment. Things were not going our way and then someone presented another option. Faith. We consider that something different could transpiring if a connection with an unseen God can be achieved. Usually, what has happened to a new believer or those who have believed there is a God for years, is that something devastating happens and we have run out of resources and ideas to fix.

Questions emerge: If God wants what is best for me how come this happened? Where was God when my loved one died and I was praying for a miracle. Why did employment not come? Why did I have to lose my home? Why did my marriage fail? Why was I abused and no one rescued me? These are valid questions.

The answers come later after the connection to God has taken hold and been deepened. The process feels like a wrestling match. But when we go through it we find a surrender, the ability to let our small ideas go and to better see God’s bigger picture. We find that our Creator was in all of our moments. Our Creator was active in the unseen realm and is able to comfort and heal no matter the loss. We find our perspective changes and we find a piece that surpasses anything we have previously known.

https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/15841-9-common-lies-christians-believe-part-3-of-3/day/3

Posted in Thoughtful Living

IS TRUTH AMBIGUOUS?

 

Ambiguous: open to more than one interpretation or meaning.; 
Unclear or inexact because a choice between the alternatives has not been made. 

If you have been following along, you know that I, unknowingly, began life under the power of the shadow. Spiritual bondage formed by deception and secrets that I had witnessed and internalized. I did not know how much darkness surrounded me, as I saw no one in the light. I was taught to be dishonest by my parents and the whisperings of the shadow. I took what I learned, continued to listen to the destructive voice in my head and used to hurt myself and others. 

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Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Inner Child, Thoughtful Living

Is my Inner Voice leading me to Spiritual Freedom?

Spiritual freedom does not happen by accident. It comes from following the spiritual voice found inside. However, this is no easy task for those born into evil or thrust into abuse. We hear a combination of our own condemning inner voice and the abuser’s threats. Upon spiritual examination we find the shadow of death in the mix. The clamoring voice that actively manipulates our inner messages.

Attempting to break free is trial and error. Prayer is used more as a test rather than true conviction, in the beginning. Pray, wait, ask for guidance and protection and then repeat. Through this, prayer by prayer, practice we learn to separate harmful critical thoughts and exaggerated emotions from God led inspiration and guidance.

” The spiritual voice inside us (that leads to freedom and life) speaks of care and love. It will never tell us to hurt others or ourselves. It is our Higher Power’s voice. It’s what Step Eleven (Big Book) calls “conscious contact.”

Sometimes the voice tells us to do things we’re afraid of. For example, if we’re lonely and the voice tells us to call someone on our phone list, we may make excuses to not do it. Again, the voice may say, “Just make the call, it will be okay.” if we follow this guiding voice, we’ll find happiness.” and Spiritual Freedom!

excerpt from “Keep It Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal (Hazelden Meditations) Paperback – October 1, 1989

Posted in Return to your true created essence, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Finding the Magic Key of Recovery

Step out of your circumstances for a while. Observe others who seem to know how to live. Perhaps observe people who are not living in anger or endless drama. There are people around us in recovery that have unlocked the door and found a way out.

People-watching can be a beginning, but offers little assistance to a struggling soul until the process of surrender occurs from within.  The AA principles lay out the process from self-reliance and unmanageability to surrender and freedom.  Hindering the process are swirling obsessive thoughts and knee jerk reactions. These traits may have not been of own making, but rather have been modeled to us by caretakers, parents, or an abuser. Although proven time and again to be harmful and faulty, as long as we believe them to be truthful, valid and appropriate we will stubbornly stay unchanged.

Stepping out of victimization or personal addictive behaviors requires a surrender so we can watch and listen for new information. Lack of faith and trust is our dilemma. We could not trust our ourselves while in active addiction. Taking the substances out of our system we can now listen and choose a different path. We have a Creator who is available and is continually trying to reach us. This Creator would like to reach us and change our thinking and behaviors. There is restoring power beyond our imagining. A new outlook awaits.

The key to this door, that opens to a path into the beautiful new unknown, is surrender. That key is found when we can sit quietly and dare to think outside of what we believe is our reality. The key begins to turn. There may be clutter in front of the door, or the door may slam shut again and again. Then one day it stays open. We awake to new information, new possibilities. Needed resources and strength present themselves.

 

Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Bite Size Bible Truth, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Who put the road block in place?

For survivors of trauma and addiction, roadblocks were put in place before we realized it. We remain unaware that a roadblock exists, believing we are just like everyone else, until we try to expand ourselves into an adult individual. If we have successes great! But such is life, and there are challenges all along our way. There is illness, loss, death, lost jobs, financial uncertainties, or isolation from families.

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