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Posted in Return to your true created essence, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Finding the Magic Key of Recovery

Step out of your circumstances for a while. Observe others who seem to know how to live. Perhaps observe people who are not living in anger or endless drama. There are people around us in recovery that have unlocked the door and found a way out.

People watching can be a beginning, but they can not be of much assistance to a struggling soul until a process of surrender occurs within.  The AA principles, for example, lay out perfectly the process from self-reliance and unmanageability to surrender and freedom. 

Swirling obsessive thoughts and knee jerk reactions may not have been of own making, but rather modeled to us by caretakers, parents, or an abuser. Although they have proven time and time again to be harmful and faulty, as long as we believe they are valid and appropriate we will stubbornly stay unchanged.

If stepping out of victimization or personal addictive behaviors a lack of faith and trust is our dilemma. We could not trust the abuser or while in active addiction could not trust ourselves or our behaviors. But we have a Creator who is continually trying to reach us and is able to change our thinking and behaviors. There is restoring power beyond our imagining. A new outlook awaits.

The key to this door, that opens to a path into the beautiful new unknown, is surrender. That key is found when we can sit quietly and dare to think outside of what we believe is our reality. The key begins to turn. There may be clutter in front of the door, or the door may slam shut again and again. Then one day it stays open. We awake to new information, new possibilities. Needed resources and strength present themselves.

 

Posted in Thoughtful Living

The Fisher King

story adapted from Richard Rohr, Quest for the Grail (New York: Crossroad Publishing, 1994), 57, 19–20.

The most common version of the Grail myth takes place in a medieval kingdom. The King is tragically wounded, and the kingdom is in disrepair. Father Richard describes the situation:

Most versions of the Grail legend begin with a wasteland kingdom, ruled over by one called the Fisher King. Crops are dying, monasteries are empty, and the people have no hope. All the king can do, because his wound refuses to heal, is fish all day—that is why he is called the Fisher King. This name has Christ connotations, since Jesus too was the “fisher of people.”

Fishing is the appropriate symbol of dipping down into one’s own unconscious. The sea is the natural image of the vast unconscious. I think this is the reason we can sit by the ocean for hours and watch it with fascination—waiting for the gift from the sea, waiting for something to show itself.

For author and depth psychologist Carol Pearson, the Fisher King is an archetype connected to inner places of suffering and longing:

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Posted in Inner Child, Return to your true created essence, Thoughtful Living

Be an Egg Breaker

When I became aware that there was a hold on my thinking, I was given the freedom to change. Without awareness, I was lost in an endless cycle of disillusionment, hurt, and discouragement. Awareness brings clarity and our natural desire to better ourselves.
Be a chick and break out of your shell, knowing that with hatching there is a struggle. Whether an egg, a flower, butterfly, or newborn, all struggle. Without the struggle, they cannot be born, survive, or seek their full potential.
Even after birth, there is a need to stretch and grow built into all living things. Whether it is physical strengthening, mental cleansing, learning something new, or spiritual freedom and growth. Applying knowledge, based on a new truth or a behavioral change, brings it a struggle.
Counter to this, when lost, we feel the struggle and brace ourselves, attempting to block out the fearful unknown and resist discomfort. By accepting that there will be a struggle and it is in the natural course of life, the struggle then becomes tolerable.
When we accept the struggle, change unfolds in us and through us.

Posted in Inner Child, Others' Views, Return to your true created essence

CHANGING ONESELF WHILE CO-DEPENDENT

Co-dependency: excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner or family member, one or both have unreasonable control over the other.

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There is no autonomy or self-governing; control is exerted over the other’s movements, money, sexual activity, or friends; through emotional, psychological manipulation, or physical abuse. Adult children of alcoholics easily fall into the same patterns as their parents: picking a partner or raising their children, in the same manner, they were, remaining trapped in the cycle.

Life itself will offer moments of clarity. A crossroad, a breaking point, or outside intervention. A realization that something could be different. That one may enter a recovery program, peer support at a church, or counseling center. To break free and recover, emotional detachment is vital, while new information is taken in. There is always an emotional separation from the other co-dependant, if there is physical or psychological abuse a physical separation is needed until both can seek help. These are forms of detachment. Detachment simply allows space to breath, rest, and reevaluate. For most it is frightening and progress may be delayed out of a fear that something is being lost.

Posted in Blissful Blogs, Return to your true created essence, Thoughtful Living

Moments of Weariness in our Journey

I am weary. I have been writing and revising my manuscript for four years now. In writing a memoir, there is the apparent need to go back through the trauma experienced. I have found continued healing while going through this process of writing. The positives are that this going back also reinforces the lessons, techniques and prayer practices that have brought me out of darkness into a world of recovery and true freedom.

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Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Bite Size Bible Truth, Spiritual Warfare, Thoughtful Living

Who put the road block in place?

For survivors of trauma and addiction, roadblocks were put in place before we realized it. We remain unaware that a roadblock exists, believing we are just like everyone else, until we try to expand ourselves into an adult individual. If we have successes great! But such is life, and there are challenges all along our way. There is illness, loss, death, lost jobs, financial uncertainties, or isolation from families.

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Posted in Return to your true created essence

DISCERNMENT: Our Inner Voice — Friend or Foe

Is our inner voice original thought, or guided by someone or something else? If you found your way here, you have experienced abuse or trauma in some capacity. Your mind may be battling with you daily, obsessive thoughts try to guide you one way, blocking your desire to go another way. It can encompass self-destructive beliefs, self-destructive behaviors, addiction, fear, chronic nightmares. Your anxious thoughts trigger your, PTSD symptoms. An inner voice that continually judges and condemns, “You are flawed, less than, or of no value to anyone including yourself, unlovable, unforgivable, a phony.” Our inner voice usually consists of our own internal beliefs that have been given to us, the enemies voice of conviction, and the voice of our Creator who is forever calling us to peace and fulfillment.

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Posted in Affects of Sexual Abuse: LIES, Inner Child

Excerpt: Fearless Reckonings of Lady Jayne

A year later, while in a counseling session, attempting once again to make sense of my predicament, I become terrified and disoriented. Directly in my line of vision, a form like a hologram appeared leaving no room for my present life to penetrate.  I began seeing the atrocities done to my mother and my brothers. The smell of orange blossoms, bacon, country gravy and biscuits, the moist smell of dew in the mountain air filled my senses. Mashed potatoes mingled with blood on old graying wall paper came into view. I heard my own fear in its’ deafening silence as brown trousers came towards me. Physically, I was left feeling moist, cold and exposed; breathless with unbelievable pain in my throat and shoulders.

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